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Shred
(2006? 2008?)
by Johnny Web (Uncle Scoopy; Greg Wroblewski)
Shred is your standard underdog sports movie, pitting the slobs who
play for the love of the game against the snobs who play for the corporate
greedheads. In this case the sport in focus is snowboarding, so the slobs
are a little sloppier than usual, and their coaches are total stoners, but
if you have ever seen Ski School or Out Cold, or for that
matter any other "slobs vs snobs" movie about sports or any other subject, then you've
already seen this one as well. The film's short running time
probably includes close to 30 minutes of actual snowboarding footage in
gorgeous locations in British Columbia, so that may be interesting if
snowboarding is your thing. If you are among the vast majority of people
whose interest in snowboarding is casual, all that filmed competition
looks like the same footage being used again and again, and the sheer
volume of it just means that the film is even lighter than you might
expect in terms of character development. I started to type "in terms of
plot and character development" but immediately realized that my
point was incorrect. It has exactly as much plot - in fact, exactly the
same plot - as every other similar movie. If you're scoring at home, you
can check off the plot points and stock characters one-by-one.
I guess the film was actually made in 2006 because there is a
dedication at the end dated in January of 2007. I am writing these words
nearly two years later and the film is a complete cipher to IMDb visitors:
no votes, no reviews, no comments, no message board. In other words, it
has spent two years somewhere in movie limbo.
And with good reason.
.
Our Grade:
If you are not familiar with our grading system, you need to
read the
explanation, because the grading is not linear. For example, by
our definition, a
C is solid and a C+ is a VERY good movie. There are very few Bs
and As. Based on our descriptive system, this film is a:
D
Not worth your time, even if the premise sounds friendly to
your tastes.
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NUDITY REPORT
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